Do not be “average”! We cannot live half way even our relationships.

Hi everyone!

After my birthday, 40 years old! I am writing this post for all of you who still, like me, do not feel have reached enough, or do not feel enough with themselves, and just accept reality and even jobs and relationships in a half way. Not a fullfilling story or job, but something “average”.

I found on Facebook the word “situationship” and it is quite fitting. We find ourselves in just “situations” not being brave enough or not feeling the rights to say no: we all deserve a 100% relationship, a real fullfilling and satisfying job. If it is not the case, we do not have to be afraid to quit. We will not lose a realtionship or a job, actually we will gain ourselves back, because we cannot live half way. We all deserve a true relationship with a companion, and not just a lazy “situationship” for fun and no commitment, and just in the spare time.

We all deserve a job that can give us something, instead of just taking away all our menthal and physical energies.

We deserve better. And especially in relationships there are no bills to be paid, or car or exepenses. Relationships are a plus in our existence, so because they are not necessary, when they exist they must be full and 100% involving.

People who do not want a true commitment or a true bound are just immature. Every story we have with someone should be lived as a commitment.

Then we all make mistakes, but we must give the other person the 100% of us in terms of attention, care, life. Living a relationship half way is simply not possible because we must respect ourselves first, and we deserve a true union.

Excuses are not accepted. We all have and live busy lives. If we want to be with someone we must be not just in the spare time and when is convenient, but always, with our mind, heart and soul. Relationships must be fully lived. This trend of “situationships” when people are together but only when they are free otherwise they can forget about the other person’s existence, is so sad and unacceptable.

Better to be alone than wasting our time and life with who does not deserve us because is simply not there for us 100%. Mutual love, respect, attention, care, presence. It should be simple, then it is always up to us to make it complicated. But we all are called to live honestly not pretending feelings that are not there, not being afraid to say no, demanding a real relationship, always.

Life is too short to be lived half way.

Stop pretending and start truly living. Feeling, getting commitments, being truly alive with what we all deserve: relationships that are not an half way, but a complete giving. A risk, a bet that no one knows if it will work or not, but still an investement of ourselves we must do.

Life is not meant to be watched from distance, but lived from the inside with a true heart beating, never stopping dreaming for better days to come because we all deserve it.

And yes we can. If we can dream it, we can do it.

All the best to everyone of you.

Stay blessed in the name of love always. And remember that whenver you will be following your heart, it will never be a mistake. Live with a pure heart, follow it. Clean your soul from what does not matter. Nourish your thoughts with positivity, because being alive is the miracle we live every single day.

Take care

 

See you soon

 

Barbara

 

 

 

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2019 New Beginning

Happy New Year to everyone! Happy beginning of 2019!!!!

I truly wish this 2019 will be for everyone a turning point year.

I am turning 40 now in January on the 9th. Yes, just numbers, but still … now is the time for me to start living and stop just existing.

Life is now, life is what is happening while we are busy making other plans.

We must take risks, face challenges … live.

Going out from our comfort zone is difficult because it is scary. The unknown is scary. But who wants to live with regrets of what if? What if?

Making mistakes, falling … are part of the journey.

We all must become the best version of ourselves.

People think the competition is against the others: actually is withing ourselves. Our own doubts and fears and worries to be won.

A beautiful sunny morning. Sunshine. What we all need.

And we are all called here to make this planet a better place, so stop the hate, stop the judging. Nobody is perfect, and we are not here to change the others, but to accept everyone and love them for who they are, making everyone realize that there is no right or wrong, no good religion or bad religion, no saints and no sinners, no pure and impure people. We all have same dignity, same rights and deserve the same respect.

Men and women are the same, we all are the same. And we all must go on in the struggle to give everywhere on earth same rights, same dignity same possibilities of chosing our own life to everyone. A women will never be an object, and just a wife or a mother. Same dreams, same careers, same rights to follow our own dreams, decide the life we want to live, who we want to live it with …

And gays or transgender people exist. The LGBT community cannot be ignored or cancelled. They have same rights to be, to dream, to live, to build a rainbow family, where family is and always will be a place of love, a place of the heart where two or more people just share part of their life in a unity that knows no limits of geography, no limits of gender. Real true equality because love exists and deserves to be.

God created each of us, and who is born gay deserves to live the life they want and feel.

Stop pretending to fit everyone in boxes society would like to keep. No one can be put in a box, or marked with just a label. We are all different individuals with our own story, mind and heart. Unique. A masterpiece.

We all deserve to be let shine our own light.

Life is now, life is for everyone because we all belong to this mother earth. This planet we must also take care of.

We are all one big family called humanity. If people will not get this, there will always be wars. We are all bound because we are all children of the same Creator who gave us the freedom to live and be, ourselves, with our gifts and talent to be used, not wasted, with our heart to love, be loved, feel.

We are here. We are alive. Let’s live for real. Not imaging a life that is not there, but creating and making the life the way we feel it and want to live it.

Freedom for everyone. Same rights. Same respect. Same dignity. We are all the same.

Let us make this 2019 the year of unity for this planet, to help who is less lucky, to help who is in need. Because there will never be walls able to separate what God has created: humanity. Only one race, only one planet.

Let us all embrace, a big hug together because we are all the same, all human, alive to live and love.

Life without love is just nonsense. The purpose we are here for is to love all mankind, all Nature and wherever we will be we will always be home, because our home is this planet.

Let us make it a true home for everyone.

A big hug to all of you.

Shine, and do not let anyone steal away your smile. We are alive: the first and main reason to be going on shining. Let our soul sing a song that is the true energy of life. Being alive.

Bloom. Share light and

Love is what will be able to fight darkness and hate. Love is the only weapon that truly wins.

Love is and always will be the answer for everything.

Take care you all

Be blessed, and always walk in the light, shining with the candle of love burning inside our soul. Give love to everyone and it will come back in unexpected ways, because love is the magic of our existence.

Shine. Give. Life is a giving. And joy will be in the giving always. And the more love you give the more you will have in your heart, because love is infinity and who lives of love lives forever.

Life is now. No regrets

Hi everyone,

yes … I know. A while I am not writing here.

The reason is always the same: time and inspiration.

But today I would like to share with you what is resounding inside me so loudly at the moment.

I am sure each of you is struggling with something. Personally it is months that I am struggling with my job. To find one first after I left my previous ones, the last longer was end of June, and then little things, and now one already renewed twice but still not sure about how it will go on and if it will. My contract expires on the 14th of October, rental to pay, expenses … so many … my car …

Then you know I have my novel in the book shops, still struggling to be known and read. Yes, it is not enough to have published a book, the most difficult part of it is after. Marketing, events, promotions … And I do not have money to invest in it. We are at the second edition but still I remain pretty much unknown everywhere.

I would need money to correct and arrange my English translation of the novel, but I do not have the money necessary to do it.

So for now just published in Italy in Italian. I need to find a literary agent for abroad to find a publisher outiside Italy for its English version …

So my struggles are these, leaving on the side my personal life which is actually quite much tough at the moment as well.

So all of us, we find ourselves from time to time like stuck in moments of life where directions need to be taken and decisions as well about next steps. And we are a kind of lost thinking of where we will end up in our future.

Well, I would like to say that it is very human. Even now that I am almost 40 years old, I still do not know where exactly I am moving to. What will be my next life steps and decisions.

It is very human to feel lost and sometimes even broken at the same time, but we all must remember that we are here to give a meaning to our existence, and we are not just alive to survive but to live, fully and making our life worth living it with goals to achieve and dreams to follow, never giving up.

I think fear of failure is the worst judge we might have. But we must try. Take risks, maybe calculated ones, but still jump out from our comfort zone.

And we have to stop caring about other people’s judgments. Society is getting worst and worst in this. I think people are just jealous and envy of what you got.

It is not easy not to let bad energy touch you inside, but we must ignore the anger empty hearted people throw at us. We have to focus on the good in every situation and spread good energy even when it is rare or when we are given negativity as a gift.

So this post is a best of luck to everyone like me who is struggling in life.

Stop asking for approval! Just start living your life the way you want it. It is yours and nobody has the right to judge you. With honesty and a pure heart, good intentions toward everyone, and the goal to improve ourselves everyday.

If we start walking the distance will be shorter from our dream goal.

But we must start moving. Little steps. Days fly away and still we do nothing. We cannot expect anything to change if we go on doing the same things every day.

So let’s start move on. Little steps forward in the direction of building what we dream of. Doing what our eyes are sparkling for.

Passion is the only energy that we need to put in all we do. Let us live fully every single second of our existence, a time that will never come back, moments that are just now or never.

No regrets.

Just life to be lived fully now. And we do not have to delay, to say tomorrow. We start today to be fully ourselves with no regrets. Our life, just ours. And we will realize that happiness is the peace we have inside when we have no more conflicts between what we do and what we feel.

Let us be true to ourselves first. And let us be, as Ghandi was saying, the change we would like to see in the world.

Only in the name of the truth we can live an authentic life.

And yes, we can.

Take care of yourself all of you.

Move away negativity and negative people from your life and soul.

Be in peace inside you first.

And let’s move on.

Best of luck to all of you, and stop worrying. Life will give you the answers you need. Just have faith.

Thanks for reading me and I would need you support.

I put on Youtube the videos of my novel presentations.

If you write Barbara Perucca on the search botton you will find all my videos.

Whoever can read in Italian you can order my book.

Barbara Perucca – Non voglio ammettere che ti amo  – Edizioni Helicon

Thanks again to you all.

Advice welcome

Also feel free to ask me advice

Take care

 

Barbara

 

 

 

EQUALITY

I apologize for my absence here, but you know what is the political situation now in Italy: a shame. And also because of this I felt the need to write you now this post.

I have a question for everyone: WHAT IS REAL EQUALITY?

The world still needs to truly know and put in practice this word for real worldwide.

Because there is no real democracy if there is no real equality. And what is real equality? It is the real equality of each person in front of the law. The law the same for everyone with no discriminations man or women, gay or transgender, Muslim, Catholic, Jewish … No discriminations at all, of any kind.

We all should be equal in front of the law as it is stated for instance in our Constitution, with no discrimination of religion, sex, sexual orientation, color of the skin …

But unfortunately we are facing two different realities on the planet.

Here in Italy, where these principles are stated but sometimes not applied and put in practice by people. We are facing an horrific increase of crimes with racial involvements. When the only race for everyone is human race, but some people, due also to our new government fear campaign, are now not respecting this basic principle of real equality of human beings. So some people have been assaulted, and we had also death episodes in the past, just because of the color of the skin or ethnicity. The scandal raised also in Europe watching our country going more and more extremist and far right in decisions, also not to receive the boats with immigrants that were risking their lives in the sea … And we are responsible of so many lives lost in the Mediterrenean if we could have been able not to give this immigrations in the hands of the mafia, but creating real human corridors, for people to come legally here and have the assistance they deserve because they are running away from war, persecution, starvation … The solution would never be just to send these people back because migrations have always been part of human history and cannot be stopped.

And the second reality I am talking about is in those places on earth where real equality is not respected by the states themselves and by their laws. Where because of religion discriminations people are not given jobs, where because women they are not paid the same as men, where because of sexual orientation people are discriminated, and even jailed or killed in some states of the planet.

I mean where is real equality?

Does it matter if a person has a different skin color, or worships a different religion, or falls in love with another human being maybe of the same sex?

Does this influence laws or how people are or should be treated?

Yes. Unfortunately people in 2018 worldwide are still discriminated for the color of their skin, for their religion, for their sexual orientation.

With no respect for real equality.

It is so sad. And the fault of all this?

Who encourages discriminations and hate, and mainly the lack of culture and education.

Yes, because studying the world history we would discover that there is no elected people, everyone is the same to one another because we all descend from the same ancestors coming back from what was before one single continent.

We would discover that Jesus had dark skin.

We would have discovered omosexuality has always existed, in all society and you cannot stop what is not a personal choice but a peculiarity of the person, not a free choice, but a way of being. And actually it exists also in nature in the natural life in the animals world.

Also animals, if you see them, they attack when they feel in danger. Human beings are the only ones who are able of evil behaviors just for the sake of it. So for no reason discriminations and attacks to who is different just because of differences, and not even because of real dangers.

People think of immigrations as invasions: they are not. Even states are conventions. Borders are a human creation. But everyone is building walls starting from their inner soul.

Why in 2018 the world is not able to have people living in peace together? Money and power.

And above all, why we are not able to live in real equality in all laws and relationships?

The answer is always the same: money, power. There are so many interests in these behaviors.

When a population is in economical difficulities, it is easier to find a target, an enemy to be accused of all disgraces. Like it was for the Jewish in the Second World War. They were also rich, and they were just an obstacle for more money and more power in the minds of all those sick people who got involved in one of the biggest shames of the planet history.

So fear. I guess fear is the reason why people are not able to accept and put in practice real equality principles. Weakness. Not enough self esteem to accept confrontations.

But the real strenght is in the peace of mind of being themselves. Thinking with their own head. Being free in the soul even before than in the body.

But it is easier for all dictatorships to controll the masses with just orders, they do not have to think with their own mind. Keeping people obiedient because of fear so that they will never complain or try to change things.

Making people fighting with each other not to see bigger issues above or aroud them. It is always a distraction.

When in the world people will start to realize that is not a matter of a war between people who are right and people who are wrong, and there is no necessity to change anyone because we all should be accepted for who we are. Confrontations, opinions should be free. People are afraid of opinions because maybe they can make people realize things from different point of view. And people maybe can change their opinions.

Only God is perfect. We are human, and no one can say to be perfect or to have the real Truth about everything.

And when people will stop to feel superior to the others or just right and the others wrong. When we will put aside judgments. Then we will be truly able to start a real genuine peaceful cohexistence where we can all learn and enrich ourselves from each other.

The world is beautiful because of its variety. Colors. We cannot put people into boxes to define them. Each individual is unique and in its uniqueness needs to be respected and should always have the same rights and duties as all the others.

Let’s make this planet a better world.

Let’s stop the judgment and the sentences. People should be free to be themselves, always. And real justice is when people are really never ever discriminated or treated differently: man or women, gay or straight, Muslim or Jewish or whatever …

People are not a short list of labels. We are human beings, each of us in evolution.

We grow, we change, we think, we change our opinions, we learn.

But this is possible only if we listen, if we try to understand what is different from us, we try to think things from different points of view, we ask questions.

Cogito ergo sum. Only because of our thinking we are. Not animals, not passive, but alive with a soul that seeks nourishment in the beauties of the planet and in everyone who crosses our path or has left messages to the world.

We have not been made to be alone. And the planet is a sphere with no corners.

Martin Luther King was saying that if we do not learn to live like brothers, we will all perish like fools. It is so true, in the madness of all wars and all discriminations people are facing for all possible reasons.

Let’s start to consider ourselves for real all brothers, with no better or worse, with no right or wrong, just differences.

Respect for everyone. Everyone is a person who deserves respect. We all deserve shaken hands and a real hug. Because we are all one and only one big family called Planet earth.

All the best to everyone and please also here in Italy we need now a help to fight these racists xenophobic, omophobic, islamophobic and all the phobics of the world, to fight them back with the simplicity of the message of the pure true love for each other and every human being on earth, with the principle, that should not remain just a principle but the essence of each society, of true equality.

 

See you next

Thanks for reading me

Take care you all

Barbara

 

 

 

 

 

 

2018 committments

2018! Happy New Year to everyone!

This post is not about me, it is about you!

What are your committments for this, just begun, 2018? Which are your goals?

We have to start from ourselves!

And first goal is to be happy! Truly happy!

And the first thing we should be happy about is ourselves! Yes. Because everything starts with us. If we are not happy about ourselves, how can we think that something external to us, could make us happy?

So we must first love ourselves, and be happy of who we are.

And we must start this with accepting our true self.

Stop pretending to be who we are not! And simply accepting who we are.

No more inner conflicts! No condemnations or heavy judgments!

So let’s start from the past.

The past is past. Sounds quite an obvious statement, but actually it is not that obvious, because we still make our past weight and be a burden for our present and our life now! So let’s start to forgive ourselves for our past.

We can begin 2018 with the hope to manage to fix all that we did wrong last year, but what cannot be changed and fixed, we just have to let it go! Move on! Past is dead. Consequences of the past remain, and this is the only thing we have to deal with, but we cannot change what has already happened! We can do something new, but not cancel what is done! So leave it!

So 2018 we must stop stressing ourselves about our past mistakes!

We learn from our mistakes, they are our best teachers! But we live in the present. So let’s focus on the “now”.

Changement

We must love ourselves, so if there is something about ourselves that we are not happy with, we simply have to change it! Stop complaining and overthinking! Nothing is permanent! We must improve. Let’s do it! Move on! Do something! If we really want something we have to start working for it! Looking at the ceiling doing nothing, will not change anything!

So let’s go out from social networks, Let’s live for real! And let’s make the changes we are dreaming about!

What do you see when you look at yourself in the mirror every morning?

Every day is a new card we have been given to play, and live.

If we want a new start, a refreshment, why not trying for instance a different hair cut? Hair color?

Make-up. We should take care of ourselves and love that image we see in the mirror. Make up is a gesture of love towards ourselves. We do not have to look “beautiful” for someone else, but for ourselves. And it will improve your self exteem too. So try! Not too much make-up. Day time you cannot look like going to a glitter disco party or dark heavy metal concert! So be sober! And remember care of our external look, but without a smiling inner soul in peace, every outfit would be wrong. But we have both external and internal side, so we must take care also of our body and our look!

Diet. What an ugly word! Nobody should be on diet! We should be caring and loving ourselves and our bodies too! So listen to what our body truly needs. There should be a balanced and healthy relationship with food! We need food to be alive as we need liquids to be hydrated. And now I do not want to make you a lecture on vitamins, carbohydrates … But you all know that we need fruit and vegetables for vitamines, carbohydrates for energy of long term release (sugars are not good because of the high glycemic index), we need proteins for muscles and also iron for carrying oxygen in our blood stream …

So limit the rubbish staff! The sugars! Once in a while you can, but daily eat healthy!

And then the main thing is quantity!

Do you eat slowly? Do you put your food in smaller plates to trick your mind about how much you are eating? Do you eat without watching telly or doing something else? yes because we need to eat slowly! We will feel fuller sooner. We need to trick the mind convincing also our inner self that we will not be starving! Very wrong to eat on sofa watching movies or anything because this way is a compulsive eating with no real mind monitoring on real quantities taken …

There are lots of little changes we should do. Drink enough water during the day to fight liquid retentions! Do not skip meals, but even little, we should always eat breakfast, lunch and dinner.

But above all, the most important thing to do is sport! Not going to play at the olympics but is enough a walk, a run, swimming, gym … whatever you like but just movement!

Once I read an article saying that airplains are not meant to stay on the ground, and actually they get “rust” and deteriorate quicker if they are kept on the ground insteat of being used flying in the skies. Same for us! We need to keep active! And doing any kind of sport activity releases “happiness” signals to our body. Sport makes us produce and release endorphins! We do not need drugs! Try it! After, you will feel relaxed but also with a bunch of additional energy to spend! Also the mind gets recharged, and can then focus back better on issues. Also metabolisms increases! So stop doing nothing! Even cleaning the house is a movement! Do something! Especially if it is a sunny day, go out for a walk!

So if the issue with your happiness is your body shape or weight, start doing a little thing every day!

Since I have been in India on vacation, I have started some yoga exercises every morning. Just breathing things, simple ones. But every little helps.

And if alone you are not brave enough to move: involve someone else for a walk, a run, a tennis game, going to the swimming pool … anything!

Then clothes

Quite a tricky subject. It depends on occasions, mood, what fits you the better …

Let’s say that we all must be feeling comfortable in what we are wearing. So we can then forget what we are wearing and concentrate on living!

A perfect teraphy for happiness is colors therapy. I already wrote it here in another article, so I will not repeat myself. Just that if you want to cheer up, use bright colors! The world is beautiful and full of colors! So wear colors!

All this I wrote till now is mainly about your “external side”.

For what concerns about your inner side, your soul … Try to make a real peace treaty with yourself.

Write down a to do list. Think about where would you like to get, what would you like to achieve. And start to work on what’s necessary to shorten the distance between where you are and where you would like to be. And remember Rome wasn’t built in a day! But start doing something in the direction of your dreams! Do not give up! Life is one, and “if you can dream it, you can do it!” Walt Disney

Attitude

Be positive! Always! Even if something goes wrong, just trust the journey! Things happen for a reason. Do not give up! “The darkest hour is always the one before the dawn!”Cohelo. And go on smiling!

Positivity is contageous, and the more you share it, the more it comes back to you!

You are alive! Remember this!

Try to treat everyone with kindness. Remember Ghandi. The strenght is in the calmness.

And if you start to put yourself in harmony with the others and the universe, the universe itself will help you moving in the direction of your dreams.

Will is everything, will is power.

And do not focus on what has not been achieved yet, but see what you have done already! you are moving in the right direction! And if there is no way in front of you, it maybe a turn in the street, but keep walking. If a door does not open, maybe it is not your door, or maybe it is not supposed to be opened now! Have faith! And keep moving forward!

And above all thoughts remember you are never alone. God is next to you, always. Trust Him!

Best of luck to you all, in all your battles and struggles.

And I wish you the best 2018! With happiness, results, satisfactions …

And remember happiness is not meant to be celebrated alone!

Share it! Do not keep it for yourself! Spread it around!

You all deserve it, and if someone truly loves you, your happiness is their happiness and the same in reverse! Learn to share your emotions! Be alive! We are not cold machines. We are here to share! And giving to the others, even if it is just i.e. our time, we will find a pure joy of the heart that goes beyond everything. Do not expect anything back. Just give. Love.

Life is short. Start to be positive and happy now! Happy for who you are, what you have, who is close to you, who you love and who loves you.

Remember nobody is perfect, and we all make mistakes, what makes the difference is our attitude, and what we do, before, after … Take actions! Speak! Ask for forgivness, forgive and forget! Move on! Let it go! Focus on the positive always, and improve. We all must. In this short journey called life where we are asked to walk next to each other supporting, caring, being.

All the best

Take care of yourself you all

See you next

 

Barbara